It’s no wonder that when people share common goals that there is increased motivation, commitment, improved collaboration and communication. We’ve seen this play out with sports teams, families, businesses, and other communal experiences.
Fitness at its core, is a relationship with yourself. It’s your mind and body connection - the feedback loop between your thoughts and your feelings. As Dr. Joe Dispenza says, “Just as thoughts are the language of the brain, feelings are the language of the body.”
Another one of the quotes I consistently share with my clients is that “in order to make other people happy, you must be happy first. In order to make other people healthy, you must be healthy first.” The reason I share this quote is because it demonstrates a necessary selfishness and priority in your life operation that ensures understanding that if you want to improve your relationship with your significant other, you must start with improving your relationship with yourself.
This is why fitness is essential for your relationship. Whether you’ve been married for 30 years or are a new couple, understanding your essential needs will lead to a deeper conviction around lifestyle choices and commitments that make you both healthier and happier.
As I’ve spent time with more couples who discuss their relationship with me, another challenge I see is the old classic tale of “my partner let themself go.” When this happens, it creates different eating habits and patterns, leads to disruption in sleep quality and changes the dynamic in the bedroom. For partners who want to be on the same page, fitness is an essential ingredient to developing a more passionate commitment, boosting confidence, increasing enjoyment in the time you spend together and ultimately a genuine concern for each other's well-being.
When health and fitness are a priority, there is more to talk about with each other. You can prepare meals for each other, be aligned on where you want to go out to eat, talk about where you want to go hike, or wake each other up with an adventure you want to go on, and - many sensual evenings together. That’s fitness too! There is a greater sense of purpose and belonging that is so natural. Fitness leads to lasting bonds, enhanced creativity and problem solving, which is absolutely essential when you’re creating a lasting relationship.
Strong bonds in society are often displayed in sports. Athletes receive the benefit of camaraderie and connection with teammates, coaches, trainers and fans. The endless pursuit of hard work mixed with laughter, fun memories and great achievements brings these communities together.
The high fives, the home runs, the points on the board, the big game wins make their time together productive and fulfilling. This is why athletes are often more successful in the social sphere. It’s built into their interactions, with so much to do and talk about.
There are obvious physical benefits beyond cardiovascular health, muscle, tone, flexibility and all the typical fitness jargon you’d read in an article if you regularly read about fitness. When my clients get on the same page with each other, I see enhanced intimacy, increased understanding of each other and a willingness to work harder and longer, which already sounds exciting for those who are genuinely seeking ways to improve their relationships.
When you exercise and share that lifestyle bond, the release of feel good hormones like endorphins and oxytocin strengthen the emotional bond, fostering a sense of closeness. I’ve seen exercise become the grounding activity that gets couples out of bed in the morning, and in bed for a lovely evening. Developing strength is the metaphor for navigating the challenges together, pushing through the last rep, going the extra mile - a sign of a partner who genuinely cares about the person they spend their life with.
When your partner is healthy and fit, it boosts motivation, obviously! Under the surface, it builds trust and a bridge for mutual support. When you have an accountability system, you become more resilient for the inevitable challenges you will face throughout your lifetime. To be more optimistic, fitness is a foundation for guiding each other towards your greatest successes and potential as well.
Too many times, I see relationships end because one or the other person doesn’t feel like the relationship is going anywhere. With fitness, you have an endless lifestyle pursuit, enhancing the quality of your life, which leads to greater productivity, goal setting and confidence in one self to carry out the tasks required to get to where you want to go, all while sharing the benefits we’ve talked about.
Lastly, life is stressful. To take out your anger or frustration on your partner can lead down a slippery slope. Whether you decide to do boxing or dancing, weight lifting or running, together you can set consistent goals, time to spend together and a healthy mind and body that is ready to take on the world together. You are stronger together, and I look forward to hearing your success stories. Explore together, embrace flexibility, prioritize fun, celebrate milestones and connect deeply and passionately, and remember, your heart is a muscle too.
